Epica – In All Conscience

Today I want to share a song that has touched me deeply. Its emotional resonance for myself comes from my experience breaking up with my wife. Some of the lyrics don’t necessarily relate to that, but many of these words have impacted me powerfully.

Can you imagine feeling and knowing a love so full and perfect and timeless and pure – the stuff of heaven – expressed directly from the heart of a person with whom you’ve shared intense years of trial and tribulation, to whom you’ve wanted to commit your all, someone who actually needs a good, strong, wise person by their side to defend and help them. . . only once you’ve become aware that your marriage with them has been built on sand, is hopelessly dysfunctional, and is keeping you from your own true path?

The freeing revelation has been that that love is not just with that one person: it is behind, inside, and around everything. It is the stuff of life itself! It doesn’t bind you to that particular person or to any set path. And it doesn’t make the pain and sorrow go away. It allows you to embrace the pain, to embrace yourself within the experience of the pain, just being there, present, for as long as the pain wants to express. It allows clear sight, forgiveness, acceptance, letting go.

I am learning to listen to myself – to feel what my body is telling me – and to be honest. I want all of my relationships to be balanced and free. I want to go through life with a light touch, no twists, no baggage, no holding back. I want to give myself permission to feel every twinge and torrent of sorrow, regret, injustice, unfairness, outrage, and anguish. I want to feel connected to life. I want peace.

(For every statement beginning with “I want,” take away the “I” – that’s ego – and “want” – that’s desire – and you’re left with the thing itself. Yay Zen aphorisms!)

(Embedding is disabled on these videos, so I’ve hotlinked them for you below.)

Enjoy!

EPICA – In All Conscience (audio only)

EPICA – In All Conscience (EPIC METAL FEST Aftermovie)

 EPICA – In All Conscience (Acoustic Version)

The Quantum Enigma – Bonus Track

Allow me to write my final words
I can’t stand this anymore
Hold me when the time has come

’Cause I don’t want to be alone

In my heart you’re still here, it’s the bond that we share
I can feel you’re around everywhere
Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
We’re honoring all the work that you’ve done

When there’s no chance for a defense
I’ll have to bend and give it all

(Each angle will give a new view)
All that I’ve been standing for
Was an illusion after all

(As both sides should always be heard)

In my heart you’re still here, it’s the bond that we share
I can feel you’re around everywhere
Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
We're honoring all the work that you’ve done

I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from all the insanity
We can’t beat injustice now and for all
I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from humanity
We can’t beat unfairness now all alone

Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
I felt you all around alone
In my heart you’re still here, it’s the wound that we share
I can feel you’re around everywhere
Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
We’re honoring all the work that you’ve done

I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from all the insanity
We can’t beat injustice now and for all
I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from humanity
We can’t beat unfairness now all alone.