Friday, September 15, 2017

Welcome to another wee-hour stream of WTF-is-this -ness...

Feeling into my orientation, I sense an attraction to letting the gravity well take me, suck me down into the black hole of… non-existence?

The negative form of surrender… capitulation to the Thanatos?

And yet both Eros and Thanatos exist in me, I also feel the desire to live and express…

There is a sense that Thanatos will have me in the end anyway and therefore it’s pointless to strive for anything in this world…

And yet the little Alan Watts -inspired voice is saying, Yes, of course it’s all pointless, of course your life in this form will end soon… but why define meaning based on that? That’s the real tragedy, to miss the opportunity to make something wonderful out of life, to use what we’ve been given to create something really worthwhile in the moment, with the knowledge of its impermanence only heightening its preciousness, spurring us on to realize ever greater richness of experience, of depth of meaning…

There always comes a point, a limit in these mental speculations, where it feels incredibly stupid to keep obsessing over thoughts of how it is or how it should be, to keep these wheels spinning, creating nothing of real value… like the fiat currency conjured out of thin air whose value is completely fictional, abstract, but for the fact that it’s used in the real world to make actual things happen… a kind of magic, if you will, based on belief, investment of power in symbols…

I will never be happy unless I am engaged with the ecosystem of life, giving who I am as an individual to the social body of humanity in a positive way… serving something larger than myself. That is ultimately what provides purpose and meaning to this existence. We are here for each other.

Each loving interaction with another being – or with some part of myself – affirms the value of life, of our being, infuses us with an energy that comes from the very wellspring of who we are, the Yes to the great question always before us… feeds our souls the manna they need to stay healthy and grow. Without love, we wither and diminish, sliding endlessly towards death, the great spiritual death where the juice is sucked out and all joy is forgotten…

Chutes and ladders. This gravity of Thanatos is the great sacrifice of our transcendent Self, to offer the counter-option against which Life is defined. There is ultimately no harm done by choosing the dark side – and what horrors the divine Being goes through when it does! These horrors we all face on some level, being all of us touched by that force. Even the wisest and most integrated beings know Hell, in fact they know it the most intimately of all. And yet what makes them so wise and whole and balanced is their deep-rootedness in both the Beyond and in the matrix of existence… They are so finely and completely connected on every level, only harmony can exist within their sphere… to the point where they go beyond harmony per se, integrating even all disharmonies into a greater unity, allowing the dark to perform its role and function, as it commands the right to do as empowered by the choices of sovereign beings…

I think it not arrogance or folly to consider each of us a child of God, equal with God – and not equal in the obviously fallacious sense, but equal in terms of having just as much right to choose and just as much right to be recognized as being one with the I Am. On the contrary, it is the only sane and sensible way to perceive this multiplicity of beings – not accounting for the right of every being to disagree if they so choose and to experience that belief as their reality, even to deem that view the pinnacle of sanity and sensibility in their eyes.

I find there is a constant in all of this exploration: the consistent need to go beyond what has gone before. There is no arrival, only forward motion. And that is a beautiful thing, as much as it can be terrible. We know not what tomorrow brings, only that it will come.

The Course in Miracles -pseudoeducated spiritual ego voice is smugly scoffing a little at the idea of a tomorrow, earning a disgusted look from the practical ego. Now, now, children. We all need to learn to work together.

It evidently pleases me to feel broken and manifest a broken puppet as my avatar. It’s so nice out here in Victimland, I got all this company even! See, we can all complain and commiserate together and blame the world for our problems. Or just shit on ourselves and drown in self-hate. Yummy! It’s a pity party! So much easier than shouldering any responsibility.

Mirthless cackling. Responsibility, you dirty old devil. Sitting there, waiting for me to get with the program. Well, I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Imma stay right here, bro. Just to piss you off. Yeah, I’m spiteful. I’m a victim!

Gag. Holy shit, what a hellish scene. Are we gonna keep watching this flick? Seriously, dude. It’s getting fucking old, and I’m not getting any younger, you know what I mean?

I got an idea. Let’s just sit here and let everything be. Fuggedaboudit. Just let it be. Settle into this space right here. Breathe. Let it all come in, let it all go out. Mmmmmmm. This is where it’s at! Everything’s right here! Wow, let’s chill here for a bit…

Monday, September 4, 2017

Manifesting Your Dream Life from Oneness by Bentinho Massaro

(Talk starts at 7:10)

I find Bentinho's teachings so deep and clear and powerful that I can't not share this video. This is next-level stuff.

Let me address potential objections or criticisms by saying, Yes, of course he may rub you the wrong way and seem like just another goddamn guru. If that's the case, then I applaud your commitment to that perspective and have no desire to try to change it. As always, take what resonates and disregard the rest. Enjoy! And if the material does resonate, then there's plenty more where this came from. :-)

Initiation: Through the Fear

Initiation: Through the Fear on SoundCloud

This is a dream recall from a few nights ago when I woke up very early after just a couple of hours of sleep. I can now see how limited my interpretation of the dream was at the time; I'd now describe it as an experience designed to demonstrate in an intense way how strong, bold, courageous, indestructible, and pure of heart I am at the vibrational level I was at. A faith- and confidence-building exercise through confronting some deeply terrifying, trying, and repugnant manifestations.

None of what I went through in this or any other dream defines me unless I choose to let it do so. I can choose to interpret this or any other dream in a way that maximizes my empowerment and expansion toward my next highest vision of myself. And since this waking life itself is another level of dream, the same applies to every experience.