The search for truth happens on many levels. When we think we’ve
arrived, we soon find that there’s another level yet to the
mystery. It is layers upon layers upon layers. It is common to use
the word ‘esoteric’
to describe layers of knowledge not generally accessed, i.e. known
only to a few. Besides missing the point, this is a trivial and
useless definition as we go forward, because in this time, those
boundaries keep getting pushed as more truth percolates into
previously endarkened sections of the minds of the human populace of
Earth.
We still tend to speak of those that are awakening versus those
who remain asleep. Apocalypse is not about letting us sleep. It’s a
summing up. It’s a test. Which truths can we assimilate and act
upon, how well, how fast, and how consistently? This is one level of
what apocalypse means. There is not one soul on this planet that is
not going to be awakened to the degree that awakening is possible. It
will happen. Our deepest traumas and fears will be triggered. Our
weaknesses will be exposed. Our blind spots will be shined upon and
we will see everything we’ve denied. This process is unstoppable.
The best course of action is to go along with it! Not hard to get
when it’s laid out like that, but when it’s you and your life,
for real, it’s a challenge. The going along, the letting go. We are
all being challenged to our utmost ability.
Realizations have a way of sinking in. They actually do that in a
literal way: first you get the surface awareness, then a deeper
understanding, and then a little deeper, and deeper still, and so on,
until, finally, a visceral, felt sense of it goes right to your core
and leaves no room for uncertainty or ambiguity or forgetting. Every
time it goes deeper, it gets fuller. Layers. In the case of certain
items on our own personal agendas of self-realization, these layers
seem to go on forever – whether due to the extreme depths, or, most
likely, to the fact that we have some attachment that gets in the way
of the lesson sinking in and so we just keep on getting hammered.
There’s no question that one’s quality of life is greatly
improved the more truth one is able to accept. I’m talking about
the inner quality of life, and inner truth. Outwardly, shit happens
and will continue to happen until such time as there is nothing left
in us that calls for any more shit. Inwardly, it’s all about
attitude. What is your stance regarding the shit? Do you see it as
mere shit for the sake of shit, fucking shit, or do you understand
that there’s a purpose behind it? That’s inner truth. The more
you get it, the more you align yourself with the force and
intelligence behind all that seeming shit, and you realize, over
time, that everything did indeed happen for very good reasons, and
went much better than you would have made it go had you been in
charge.
You are incompetent to direct your own life. You do not know, the
way the ineffable knows. Unless and until you do (which you never,
ever will as a manifest being), the best thing to do is to surrender
to that higher, unknown wisdom that really does know what’s best.
This is extremely hard to get! We are so wrapped up in our inflated
sense of self-importance and insisting on being right and knowing
what we think we know, when in fact we do not know. We are as little
children. (Often badly behaved ones at that – screaming to have our
way, rebelling against our parents, who are much wiser than us and
love us unconditionally, but also have the task of raising us into
something much more than we are now: our true selves.) It would
behoove us to start to acknowledge that.
Have trust. Be that little child. Ask for help. You will get it.
The ineffable’s job in regards to you is to shape you into that
which you were meant to be, that ecstatically full, free and perfect
expression of divinity that is uniquely you. In fact, you already are
that, outside of the illusion of time.
One could say that this viewpoint doesn’t appeal. For whatever
reason. One might rather think in terms of a perfect anarchy that
somehow works out in the end, just to wipe out the annoying God
factor and keep the happy ending. Well, that’s really just
peek-a-boo. Not being willing to see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t
there. Besides, anarchy just means “no
rulers,” which is
appropriate for mature, sovereign beings. “No
rules,” on the other
hand, is a child’s fantasy, license to do as thou wilt with no
regard for anything outside the self. To use the word anarchy in this
context is just an obfuscation, sexing up the concept of mindless,
directionless chaos housing only mini-Gods and their personal aims –
hardly compatible with any hope for a happy ending.
The real esoteric truth is the inner knowing (and faith in lieu of
knowledge to come, for us still on the way there) of the fundamentals
of being, the laws of the universe, and the purpose of creation.
These are mysteries that cannot be put into words. Yes, there is a
need for words. Words help us conceptualize, they point the way, they
structure our thinking, they define that which would otherwise be
nebulous and hazy. But they are only words. Symbols. Reality is what
is real, what our senses tell us, the manifest creation that is the
outer end of the divine polarity, spirit and matter.
We must engage both ends. Esoteric and exoteric. They serve each
other. This is why, in my opinion, we must seek both the inner and
the outer aspects of truth. The inner is the key, the Holy Grail. But
we cannot avoid the outer, inasmuch as it relates to our path. We
cannot navigate with our eyes closed. That goes for both spiritual
and temporal things. And both of these are inextricably, exquisitely,
connected.
