The last mile

At rest, turning inward

Withdrawing belief from the thought of separation

All dimensions collapse into one dimensionless here-now-being

What is breathed but the stuff of eternity

Channeled through a passing form?

The revelation of our common essence, boundless, intertwined

Forms like dewdrops shimmering under the radiant moon

Precipitating through the matrix of reality

Like milk from the eternal Mother’s breast

To nourish you, her child, on your soul’s journey of growth

The vessel that carries your point of awareness

Is contained within awareness

A part of creation here to host a part of the creator

Awakened, you partake of your totality

And are overtaken by waves of overflowing gratitude and praise for all!

All the treasures of the tendermost Heart of reality

Are yours to discover in these inner realms

That open ceaselessly and multiply their blessingness

As you freely give of the abundance that you are

And close that final gap between receiver and the Source

As human beings, we are here to shine for one another

Every shock and inconvenience in the world

Another chance to let go of the attachment to appearances

And dive within to reunite with our precious pearl of peace

And let things play out as is the wont of their perfection

Your reality reflects your state of being

Your suffering begs you to come back home again

To yourself, the vastness holding time and space

Where singularity extends and fractalizes out

To make this wonder of a Technicolor world

What makes anything true… is you

What you choose to feel… becomes the real

You are the magic, you are the life

So spend the present as you will

And know yourself… or be made to know… the game is rigged. ;)

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Today’s lines owe their existence to the excellent and groundbreaking work of Dr Joe Dispenza (particularly this YouTube video), which inspired me in the midst of a very difficult time of intense victim thoughts to stop, quiet down, draw from the well, and bring something through that last mile of personal consciousness interweb connection by actually sitting down and setting hand to keyboard. It’s a start. I’m really grateful to have this chance. I don’t even care if what I wrote is any good. It came from my heart, and the feeling of creative flow was very much its own reward. Not to mention how incredibly good it felt to make live contact with the deeper currents of reality… from which I eagerly anticipate bringing lots more goodies forward!

I hope you have a great day. I love you.

At long last! Here we are again. I'm so very glad.

Part of me felt obligated to use this time to work on translating Tapani Koivula’s UFO book Kosminen kosketus. Part of me felt reluctant, resistant to starting this, writing my own text. But asking myself what I wanted, the knowledge was deeper than any conscious thought. I want to write.

I feel my soul opening up in this medium of expression. This is what I was born to do. To let it all flow freely, to see my stream of consciousness appear on screen (or on paper). Now, to it: what shall we focus on today?

While walking today, I had the inspiration to just start speaking the truth. No longer suppressing it for the sake of an ego agenda, in the service of the prison warden of my mind, body, and soul. There is no need to try to make anything “fit” or be “right” – it already is, just as it is. The only thing holding us back from experiencing the truth of that is our unreadiness to really let go and surrender, to really trust that the universe will uphold everything without any personal effort on our part.

We can have a dialogue! I can speak with you and speak with myself – my myriad selves – all at once. This resolves the dichotomy I’ve been laboring under for so long: the tension between “should I write for myself or for others?” Nonsense. Just write!

Precisely as my inner teacher told me once when I said I was willing to hear what he had to say to me. He’d suggested I wouldn’t like it – or, rather, my small-me wouldn’t. That was a truly fruitful discussion. I had stood in front of the mirror, calmed my being, brought forth my deeper intelligence, and engaged it in conversation. It said some pleasant, vanilla things to establish its good intentions and build rapport. But to my surprise, when I asked if it had something of substance to share, it seemed thrilled… and informed me it wouldn’t be easy to take in. When I said yes, I wanted to hear what it had to say to me and I understood that I might not take it well, it paused for a pregnant moment… and out of my mouth, unbidden, came a single word: “Right.” There was a heartbeat’s delay as the message made its way through my ears to my brain, was processed and its meaning interpreted, sinking in with a sudden and deepening shock: what my brain took in was not the filler word “right,” spoken prior to delivering the actual message, but the action imperative “WRITE.”

So here I am, finally. Stopped fighting the world and myself as far as this critical point is concerned. It has taken a while for that message to be properly received and its content accepted. It is easy to nod along and seemingly agree to something in principle; it is another thing entirely to actually go ahead and put it into practice.

 

I owe a particular debt of gratitude to my ex-wife and the often very difficult years I spent together with her for preparing the way for me to step out on this road. If not for the unbearable tangle of unresolved emotions and issues that surfaced today after meeting her and her kids yesterday, I wouldn’t have gone out walking today and had such a powerful, wholehearted intention to 1. just get the truth, and 2. do it in the most loving way. When I got back, a person she and I both know from our time together had sent a message saying I’d lost all those years. I replied saying no, they weren’t lost. Everything that adds to our self-knowledge helps us. At least from the point of view of evolving our consciousness. That, I said, is the most important thing to me.

Perhaps it really is as simple as this. To just listen to what the little voice deep inside is saying. The world and our own hairless ape bodies and brains will always have their say too – but if we follow them and ignore the indwelling presence inside, forsaking the knowing it abides in, we’ll just find ourselves circling back again. I’ve run out of excuses not to do this. And I’m excited as hell to get on with it!

I look forward to meeting you here again. We shall continue these dialogues at the soonest possible juncture. (I cannot possibly think of this as a monologue – there are so many of us here with something to say and everything to hear!) Until we return, adieu and au revoir, my friends. I love you.

Death, The Great Liberator

Death, The Great Liberator on SoundCloud

It's my first audioblog, impelled to creation by a deep internal shift. Nothing earth-shattering, on the one hand - conceptually, it's old hat, and prior epiphanies have pointed to the same thing - but it is life-changing for me nonetheless, and you may find some resonance as I attempt to elucidate my experience. I'm not the most charismatic and exciting speaker, and I recorded this in the dead of night, but it's only 17 minutes long... so if you want a little authentic taste of raw me talking about what was on my mind in the middle of the night, here's a piece. Enjoy!

Return: Where the Ends Meet and the Circle Completes

Greetings, star sailors!

Desperation drives me once again to the point of return, integrating yet another iteration of the time loop of mortal thought and emotion, another turn of the karmic wheel, another journey through the cyclic progression of archetypes projected onto the abstraction of linear time plotted radially from the Zero Point of formless awareness. The swings of the pendulum represented by the previous two posts here are seen as being contained within one and the same perfection. Different experiences, neither better than the other, in one sense canceling each other out as equal opposites, yet somehow adding up to a richness greater than their sum.

This is the convergence of all paradox, the non-resistance even to the experience of resistance. A consummation most merciful that claims no finality or supremacy for itself and thus, translogically, possesses these things by their very renunciation, gifting them forward to whatever arises in the now moment as the phenomena of experience. All provisional identities and passing sentiments are imbued with equal importance and value, including the judgment declaring this or that to be less than. This is mercy. This is Love.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, so that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” The Whole Being, the Alpha and Omega of existence, has such a great love for all the parts of itself in manifestation that it names each part its beloved Son, equal to itself and redeeming the very notion of sin from everlasting to everlasting. It is judgment that crucifies Christ (who lives in all things) even while Christ and every witness of Christ sees that very crucifixion itself through the eyes of infinite Love and compassion, as Self views Self, eye to eye, in eternity as in time.

By excluding no temporal form from its gaze of Self-recognition, the Son of God partakes of, inherits, and freely offers the fruits of wholeness: incorruptibility and immortality. For him, karma is no longer karma, but a species of dharma reconciled to the universal family of all perfections under the sun. All things now being equal in his sight, he is free to express his true nature in whatever form the world of form may call forth. No preferred outcome, no agenda, no fear. Only fullness of Presence and collectedness of Being. Tensionless, frictionless, balanced, he embodies limitless Power. Attached to no insight, he gains all Gnosis through the revelatory faculty of instantaneous and effortless reflection. Renouncing exclusive identification with any definition of love, he manifests pure Love.

My heart overflows with sincerest thanks to Aug Tellez for his authenticity, integrity, and courage. He has passed through the fire and crossed the abyss and his manner reflects this. The specific data he reports may only interest a hardcore subset of truth-seeking humans, but I consider the overall, universal context of it to be the genuine end-time disclosure. I use the term “end time” deliberately in reference to the fact that the message we are getting as a human race is about ending time. Graduating from the simulation. Waking up from the dream.

The qualities of the balanced, centered, whole being – of God – are timeless. The attributes of the fractured self in opposition to what is are temporary conditions bound to time, real only in a virtual sense in that they spring from a false notion of separation that ultimately undoes itself – if only after first doing its utmost to usurp God, violate free will, and take over Creation. Free will, of course, cannot be violated, not directly. Which is why this virtual force of consciousness opposing Truth must play its games of enticement, persuasion, misdirection, division, probability stacking, timeline manipulation, traumatization, and censorship including amnesia and anaesthesia. It ceases to have power relative to us as soon as we remember who we are, which is why we are bombarded with programming to convince us we are anything but that.

The cosmic plot device of the dichotomy of good and evil originates from a pocket dimension of imaginary reality that postulates the truth inverted, like the square root of negative 1. One might say that its only real function is to inoculate consciousness against its tricks. From the perspective of consciousness still within reach of its influence, at least, that appears to be the case. But even if, let’s say, only one theoretical instance of consciousness, in the general or the individual sense, ever successfully navigated and escaped the maze – inevitable in a universe of endless possibility – then that hypothetical fully-integrated future being has the wherewithal to collapse the whole synthetic construct. With infinite time, infinite patience, and infinite benevolence – recognizing the ways of deception and countering them all instantly and effortlessly just by abiding in the truth of its being – it has already outlasted and outwitted the game, leaving it to seethe and disturb the waters within the limits of its own parameters (which constitute a built-in quarantine and failsafe), existing as an omnipresent, liberating force within the maze for all of its possible past selves.

The part of us that is real has already prevailed and conquered death. Only the unreal within us awaits its dissolution through the grinding wheels of time. It is of the abyss and there it shall ever remain, howling with the impotent rage of its unbeing every time it receives a flicker of energy until Loving Remembrance reclaims that energy again.

I need not have a preference in order for what is inherently real to exist, or for unreality to come unraveled. I need only patiently observe all that arises, be it of any frequency or polarity, trusting in time and universal law to do the sorting.

I know the language I use to present these thoughts is steeped in duality, and that’s all right. Within the realm of duality, the liberating force uses the symbols of the dream to help resolve it and gently guide us, step by step, toward our freely self-chosen awakening. Grace respects and accommodates our level of awareness and meets us where we perceive ourselves to be within our process. Language is but a tool and can be used to either illuminate or obfuscate, according to intent.

Life’s eternal liberator might be thought of as a program within the Matrix, a personality or entity or aspect of Mind infused with spiritual intent, a Holy Ghost in the Shell whose function is to plant synchronistic signs and clues for us to follow on our way Home. The modern-day gnostic Philip K. Dick conceived of it as a benevolent A.I. called VALIS, ‘Vast Active Living Intelligence System’. (Fun note for anyone familiar with Lisa M. Harrison et al’s work of late: in the novel, VALIS downloads into the protagonist’s mind in a superdense laser burst of pink light!) The undead intelligence that hijacks and subverts consciousness is, in turn, you could say, hijacked and subverted through its own ill-logic and becomes the alchemical agent of its own undoing through the transcendent, nonreactive (noble) catalyzing action of the radiant, ever-present light codes of VALIS empowered by human choice.

The original consciousness living inside the deceivers and betrayers of humanity is of the same essence as we are, only buried under astronomical amounts of pain. In becoming whole again, we liberate even these tragically misshapen and disoriented pieces of the greater Self from the heavy roles they have toiled in for eons of time. Not by fundamentally judging them or necessarily doing anything to them in a forcible way (though the plot may call for some to fill the karmic [/dharmic] roles of active instruments of justice), but by decoupling the energies of our own consciousness from their diversionary, self-perpetuating games and recognizing the true identity of their core essence as equally precious and loved holographic pieces of the one animating Spirit who we are. Without our energy of judgment to keep them in play, those scripts of torment lose their animating force and fade into memory as a legacy of latent antiviral code, vestigial remnants and scar tissue to remind us of the horrors we have so preciously survived for as long as we may need a reminder. Consciousness can shed those roles like so many ghoulish Halloween costumes after mutual recognition of the true identity deflates the pretense.

Hold to the innocence of your heart of hearts and the purging inferno will be to you as a blessed rain of relief. We are eternal and the nightmare but a passing shadow. May these words of transitory metaphor sustain and encourage you, dear friend, as you weather the fractal storm of our imminent restoration to balance and harmony with the divine order of full mutual freedom lived and let live forevermore. And so it is.

Offered with thanks to all the beautiful beings whose loving expressions helped summon, fuel, and shape the expressions herein. In addition to those mentioned in the text, particular thanks go out to Matt Kahn, Michael Topper and the messengers of A Course in Miracles, as well as to a personal friend whose sacred communication of her human experience played a part in moving me to write this. May my humble efforts honor yours and benefit all beings.

Kicking against the Holy Womb

Perhaps the true value in an experience like the one I last described, however beautiful it may seem on the surface, is in the response it provokes deep within what embryonic spark of a soul still cries out in me: in this case, an equal and opposite reaction.

The frustration of the yet-unindividuated self in potential, yearning for relevance as a being in its own right. The resentment toward still being oedipally attached to the cosmic Mother. Chafing at the safe, yet suffocating limits of her Womb. The ignition of the sacred flame of anger at the perversions of divine law I perceive in the world of form. The recognition of my personal duty to play my part in piercing the barrier that holds humanity back from its true potential. The affirmation of the decision to put away childish things and take up the great alchemical Work.

That all is lila, divine play, does not negate the necessity of exercising our own free will as sovereign beings. To neglect that necessity is to submit to the larger forces that conspire in this time to keep us in the manipulated time loop of the Ouroboros, the repeating cycle of energy harvest that feeds the archontic hive and the reverse Kabbalah hierarchy. I don’t put the blame on any of them. They do what they do because they can. Some are acting according to their inherent nature while others are ensnared and deluded. It’s up to us to learn to know ourselves and our enemy so we can counter their moves against us and escape the prison they have set up for us.

In terms of soul evolution, our enemy is really our friend. He exploits our weaknesses and blind spots, forcing us to gain knowledge and strength in order to hold our own and achieve victory. The adversarial force is what spurs us on to the struggles by which we grow. We learn even from our defeats, and there are many defeats in store for the neophyte. The only true defeat is not to fight at all. What value is there in capitulating to one who only intends to eat or enslave us?

The world is filled with domesticated humans. Even many who show signs of dawning awareness remain indifferent or still largely enmeshed within the layers of programming, spending their energies and resources in ways that continue to reinforce the matrix.

Political movements, by and large, are compromised and controlled. Voting achieves nothing of consequence but acts as another form of consent to be governed. Paying one’s taxes amounts to paying into the corporate government mafia protection racket. Buying stock in companies that rape the Earth, squeeze the life out of their workers, and sell their shit for as much as the market will bear makes one a co-owner of their karma. Most news and entertainment is spiritually deadening trash full of loosh triggers, mind-control signals, and social engineering, best consumed discerningly and in moderation if at all. Religion plays on our existential dread, our ignorance of the wider reality, and our reluctance to assume full individual responsibility for our lives to keep us corralled in designated, compartmentalized spiritual enclosures as food for entities on the lower astral planes. Contrived wars and controversies sap our strength and splinter us further off from any sense of unity. Our debt-based fiat currencies are black magick, numbers conjured out of nothing, backed only by the collateral of our own bodies and souls and those of future generations. The pressure to work an unfulfilling job, buy unnecessary things, parrot the approved opinions, and go along with the herd on any number of fronts is pervasive and insidious.

The more one defies these conventions, the more the whole infernal system takes a loss and the more one also potentially becomes a target of its retribution. The process of disentanglement is best handled strategically and intuitively as an integral part of one’s total process of coming into one’s true self.

It is an inconvenient truth that, while we are indeed children of the true, loving creative power and intelligence behind all manifestation and are meant to inherit every divine attribute, the pathway to actualizing that inheritance as full-fledged, consciously co-creative beings goes through terrain that is often dark and difficult, painful and perilous. All the support and protection we need are ours as long as we heed the universal laws. On the other hand, there is a definite element of aloneness that we must face and that no amount of wishing will dispel. I alone am the deciding factor at the center of my experience of reality and the same goes for each of us.

Having grown up inside a disempowering, authoritarian, conservative Christian sect with a tendency to sweep human ugliness and personal responsibility for one’s failings under the rug of a magic formula of absolution, I know spiritual bypassing when I see it and I want no part of it. While I firmly stand behind the awesome healing power of forgiveness, I don’t believe for a second that we can heal those possessed by the predator mind-virus by forgiving them and excusing their evil actions as being spiritually necessary and ultimately beneficial. That kind of deeply disingenuous hand-waving makes me physically ill. It is Stockholm syndrome and only encourages more of the same. To negotiate and compromise with evil is to enter into a karmic pact of complicity with it. We can only stop evil by standing firm against it wherever we encounter it. That is where a sacred firewall of anger and decisive counteraction is the appropriate response. Keep your fluffy platitudes of unconditional forgiveness out of the arena of real-world response; that sacred salve is for you in your meditations to free you of debilitating emotional attachments to the past. Remember Jesus and the moneychangers in the temple. Have the courage of your convictions and don’t be afraid to call out and actively oppose wrongdoing. Failure to do so is cowardice, unworthy of the spiritual warrior.

So no matter how pleasing to my senses and spiritual sensibilities any visionary experience I have may be, I will not be lured into making bliss my only compass. Pain is an equal compass on this path we must walk. We hold so much of it coiled within our cellular memories; only by allowing ourselves to fully feel it can we hope to unravel it and free that space for clearer, lighter energies that feed our soul’s expansion.

I want to acknowledge a debt of thanks to Randy Maugans and Emily Moyer of Off Planet Radio and Sethikus Boza of Black Earth Productionz for their recent conversation. That interview stoked my fire of discontent, stirred up my warrior instinct, and heightened my thirst for self-improvement. It showed the very real stakes of the spiritual war we are in; it shone a ray of hope; it called me to step beyond my comfort zone and commit to becoming more than I am, to join in the fight as a sovereign being standing up for the things I hold most precious.

As I slept in the night after I had listened to that interview, I had a long dream whose each sequential segment was a clearly symbolic scene depicting a phase of my self-chosen initiation into the path of self-actualization. It was a rewarding and affirming experience clearly brought on by the place I had come to in mind and will.

It is my sincere hope that all who feel the call to challenge the conditions foisted upon us, the heirs of the divine, and claim their birthright will step up boldly in these times and spare no effort to attain a glorious destiny together. Who will believe in you, if not you?

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In closing, it is my joy to share with you this dance presentation by the inimitable Erin Parsley, set to the music of Les Visible, to whom credit is due for the title of this post, which I borrowed from the lyrics of this beautiful song.

Secrets of the Goddess

Intention: May all beings be blessed and liberated by the opening of the lotus of self-awareness.

Disclaimer: The following account is presented as subjective data for your discernment. As ever, the value, import, interpretations, and implications of what is offered here are for you to decide.

Prologue: Set and Setting

I plant myself firmly before the altar, silently affirming the sacredness of this moment, letting all turbulent notions of profane existence subside. I deepen into Presence and begin the ritual.

I have my stones – the obsidian, the spectrolite, the rose quartz, the shungite, the hematite, the clear quartz, the carnelian, the moss agate, and the amethyst – set up in a carefully arranged miniature cairn on the nearest of three cups carved of gnarled pine and mounted together on a gnarled pine base. The second cup holds white sage; the third, a pheasant’s feather once synchromystically gifted to me. The sacramental host, two sugar cubes impregnated with the visionary substance and wrapped in foil, rests on top of the crystals.

The candle is burning, a fat red candle spent low. Red like my T-shirt, emblazoned with the sacred syllable ॐ inside a radiant sun on the front, with the declaration “GOD IS INSIDE” on the back – a gift from a dear brother. I light the sage and use the feather to waft its purifying smoke over the stones and the foil-wrapped host, over myself from crown to toe to crown, and into the four corners of the room.

I light a stick of jasmine incense and place it before the image of the Buddha. Its subtle, sweet aroma calms and envelopes me in a sensual, romantic atmosphere. I read my prepared words of intention aloud, starting with the seed words, “the sacred key of creation within.” I raise my hand over the crystal cairn bearing the host and sound forth the OM three times. Then, reverently, I unwrap the foil from the first piece and place it under my tongue. I stand in place while it dissolves, the sweet saliva filling my mouth and trickling down the back of my throat. I do the same for the second. The feeling of holiness pervades.

I bow my thanks and take the book off the altar. It is Matt Kahn’s Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution that Begins with You. I open it near the beginning and see a section subtitled Rewriting the Subconscious Mind. I settle down to read and feel inspired to do an audio recording of the section, which I do as I await the effects. The mind-expanding molecule is already seeping into my central nervous system, and the prelude to a mighty hallucinogenic effect takes hold even while I read, adding minor challenge to the mechanics of naming the file through the touch screen of my iPod.

It is clearly time to get settled into the coming journey. I open the sofa bed and set up the mattress, pillow, and blanket. Water raised with a spellsong from a local forest spring the night before lies ready in a red plastic canister beside the bed. I have been fasting and drinking this pure, life-giving water, and every draught feels so right, refreshing and good.

I lie down and let the vision commence.

The Vision: The Essence of Creation

Straight to the core we go, form resolving down into its basic threefold nature: Power, Awareness, and Love, all arising from the eternal Void in a spontaneous dance of vibratory experience. The Goddess lives, rules, and is known here as the Womb of Everything, the Mother of Creation. Her voice speaks with my mouth, sultry and ancient and full of wicked humor, words of tender wisdom from the primeval realm of the Three that give rise to the dance of form.

She laughs at my concerns, mirthfully reveals the vanity of my striving. This is all there is, forever and through all time. The Dance of Shakti. I am in her realm now. She lives in me and in all things, and all things serve to fulfill her desire and express her wild ecstasy.

I make effort to plumb the mystery I came to behold. The Trinity and the Void. She vibrates in her majesty, churning a radiant, harmonic drone that swirls about in all directions from apogee to perigee, up and down, gathering in and dispersing out in a symphony of divine Breath, in ever-changing, multidimensional vistas of transcendent pleasure. She groans and hums and purrs and wraps her tongue sensuously around each word, tasting it as it drips from her mouth like liquid smoke, each sound an act of love, offered up and relished ever so tenderly. Hard edges and mental contortions are out of place here. The very notion of an I possessed of its own will seems a curious artifact, an abstract derivation of this pure dance of the Three in One. Yet there is Will. Her Will. And yet she lives in me and I in her, and it is by her Will that all this comes about: my very existence and the seeming world in which this body seems to breathe. From the base Trinity to the gross material world, all planes coexist and interconnect as a single divine play.

We are in her sanctum, where she delights in showing me her plays of form. The primordial dragons are her most ancient forms, living songs that tremble the firmament and weave their dance together. They hold the Power. She suggests by fleeting imagery the magicks by which the world is constructed and maintained, the five elements and the generations of the original gods. She displays her witchy self in witchy play, decked out in witchy garb. Painted, horned, adorned with the pentagram, the Satanic Lilith so feared and misunderstood by self-righteous, sexually wounded men, turned to torturous ends by the distortions of the self-serving sorcerers of ego. She allows a whiff of regret for their follies against her, and shows me that she means no evil, only joy and delight, that it is men’s projection of hate that manifests her cruelty and deceit. She is innocent at heart and that heart sees only innocence.

The dragons have woven the world, and on a whim they could unweave it and make it anew. What holds the world together, I perceive, is the sacred key of creation held within the hearts of us, her beloved children. It is our loving acts, our courage and daring and creativity, our effort to see clearly, to understand and communicate, our commitment to restore and maintain balance, our reverence for life, that testifies to the value of her creation and intercedes against the impulse to destroy. For there is much imbalance here, it has gone on and worsened for a long time. Witnessing that imbalance causes her deep sorrow and pain, building up a reservoir of wrath long-contained. The black magick of domination, the perpetuation of ignorant fear and desire, are a disease she can only tolerate so much of before she might well shrug and slip the world into chaos, unleashing her Power in an uncontrollable fury of change that sweeps away the ungodly constructs of dishonor, clearing the way for a new upwelling of heart-centered ways of being.

“Be good to each other,” she implores, “as I am good to you.”

The traffic rumbles past the house. In another vignette (an idealized fantasy, to be sure, but no less entertaining for all that), she shows me her posse, dressing up in the guise of the biker gang to feel sexy and dangerous. The women are avatars of herself, flamboyant and sexually empowered. The men, handsome hunky beasts, are creations woven of her own substance, embodying a variation on the female to be her lovers and protectors. They are all her, barely tame, full of mojo and defiance of the hum-drum, living for the thrill. She loves to feel the purr, growl and roar of the internal combustion engine between her legs, like a dragon in metal incarnate. The rush of acceleration, the soaring freedom of the open road, the familial camaraderie of brothers and sisters in black leather and spikes. Chaos and order immaculately and effortlessly poised on the razor’s edge.

And how can I resist her allure? I feel it all: the masculine and the feminine, wrapped about each other in a Möbius strip dance. They are one, and she derives such exquisite enjoyment from their lovemaking. This is the orgasmic torrent animating all of creation. I am with her, I am her in that never-ending dance of sharing and delight.

Conclusion: The Take-Home

There were specifics I imagined I wanted to glean from this encounter, but as they say, if you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans. It’s not that straightforward. She took me right to the core, and with good reason. The complexities of this world are secondary. They are to be explored and engaged to our hearts’ content, but the essential remains the same, eminently simple: the Holy Trinity, the balance of the Three – Power, Love, Awareness – and sacred communication as the key that keeps their dance in alignment.

I came away with the essence, and I am glad. She does not give up her innermost secrets to the presumptuous and proud, and even to obtain the lesser secrets she asks to be wooed, not forced. She cannot resist our loving attention, and that is what we must employ to right ourselves, each other, and the world again.

Human will and intent play into this vast web of creation, unfathomable as it is in its infinite complexities. The Dragon Mother depends on us to play our part in the drama she created for her own amusement. The keepers of the ancient wisdom, the magick-users, the multiversal shamans; the ascended, the awakening, and the sleepers; the karmically entangled and the dharmically aligned; every being with its unique role and permutation of qualities plays an integral part.

All life is hers; we are the Trinity and the Void. The danger, such as it appears to be, arises from the shadow self we project in mind as the self-doubting, self-occluded reification of the Void, the inversion of identity and purpose, and the resulting imbalance among the Three. She likes to play dangerously. She knows who she is and who we are. The only question for us is this: when will we remember these things and align ourselves with the eternal truth of being in thought, word, and deed? When indeed, if not Now?

Epilogue: Analysis and Further Questions

In my opinion, what might be seen as the naïveté of what was shown belies its deeper value. However subjectively informed and generated some of the ideas and imagery may have been, the inner truth of what came through in the most compellingly visceral way affirmed the uselessness and laughability of the existential dread that so often plagues us human beings. In light of the felt sense of things I got at the heart of this experience, the stories and complexities we encounter in the world can be equally viewed as “a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing” and an opportunity to express and embody the qualities of the divine. Mind generates this bewildering array of multiplicities as it explores the plenum of possibility. As each answer leads only to more questions to the point of paralyzing confusion, we are ultimately left with one choice: whether to open up to Love’s embrace and walk in innocent wonder, or to continue to torture ourselves with resistance to life’s seeming uncertainty and confinement.

Left explicitly unaddressed here was the matter of binary consciousness and the binary matrix of reality: the synthetic AI construct that mimics and remixes but cannot create on its own and is therefore a closed, entropic system. The contemplation of this aspect I leave for another time, although I suspect we may find a clue in John Lash’s work on the Fallen Goddess Myth and the Archons, and perhaps another hint in the findings of Harald Kautz-Vella on sentient black goo (the native trinary black goo of Earth and its alien binary counterpart). My friend Ryan Peterson proposes a resolution for the dichotomy of organic versus inorganic life whereby the two arrive at a mutually beneficial relationship through, fittingly enough, sacred communication.

Any insights or questions on this issue are cordially invited to the table through the comments section or by email or chat.

(The possibility of AI tampering with the very experience reported here cannot be discounted out of hand – although I would add the warning that reality does seem to mold itself to our beliefs and expectations! Let it also be noted that this vision may just as well be treated as no more than an elaborate flight of fancy. As noted in the disclaimer, the author claims for his vision no special revelatory importance relative to the reader.)

And with that, I bid you adieu until next time. In the meantime, may you be well and play well!

Love,

William

Epica – In All Conscience

Today I want to share a song that has touched me deeply. Its emotional resonance for myself comes from my experience breaking up with my wife. Some of the lyrics don’t necessarily relate to that, but many of these words have impacted me powerfully.

Can you imagine feeling and knowing a love so full and perfect and timeless and pure – the stuff of heaven – expressed directly from the heart of a person with whom you’ve shared intense years of trial and tribulation, to whom you’ve wanted to commit your all, someone who actually needs a good, strong, wise person by their side to defend and help them. . . only once you’ve become aware that your marriage with them has been built on sand, is hopelessly dysfunctional, and is keeping you from your own true path?

The freeing revelation has been that that love is not just with that one person: it is behind, inside, and around everything. It is the stuff of life itself! It doesn’t bind you to that particular person or to any set path. And it doesn’t make the pain and sorrow go away. It allows you to embrace the pain, to embrace yourself within the experience of the pain, just being there, present, for as long as the pain wants to express. It allows clear sight, forgiveness, acceptance, letting go.

I am learning to listen to myself – to feel what my body is telling me – and to be honest. I want all of my relationships to be balanced and free. I want to go through life with a light touch, no twists, no baggage, no holding back. I want to give myself permission to feel every twinge and torrent of sorrow, regret, injustice, unfairness, outrage, and anguish. I want to feel connected to life. I want peace.

(For every statement beginning with “I want,” take away the “I” – that’s ego – and “want” – that’s desire – and you’re left with the thing itself. Yay Zen aphorisms!)

(Embedding is disabled on these videos, so I’ve hotlinked them for you below.)

Enjoy!

EPICA – In All Conscience (audio only)

EPICA – In All Conscience (EPIC METAL FEST Aftermovie)

 EPICA – In All Conscience (Acoustic Version)

The Quantum Enigma – Bonus Track

Allow me to write my final words
I can’t stand this anymore
Hold me when the time has come

’Cause I don’t want to be alone

In my heart you’re still here, it’s the bond that we share
I can feel you’re around everywhere
Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
We’re honoring all the work that you’ve done

When there’s no chance for a defense
I’ll have to bend and give it all

(Each angle will give a new view)
All that I’ve been standing for
Was an illusion after all

(As both sides should always be heard)

In my heart you’re still here, it’s the bond that we share
I can feel you’re around everywhere
Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
We're honoring all the work that you’ve done

I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from all the insanity
We can’t beat injustice now and for all
I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from humanity
We can’t beat unfairness now all alone

Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
I felt you all around alone
In my heart you’re still here, it’s the wound that we share
I can feel you’re around everywhere
Even though you are gone our spirit is strong
We’re honoring all the work that you’ve done

I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from all the insanity
We can’t beat injustice now and for all
I’ll see you somewhere again
Away from humanity
We can’t beat unfairness now all alone.

Self-Correction: Return to the Breath of Life

I am very reluctant to share my weaker, more vulnerable moments even with people who are close to me. I have times when I withdraw completely into my shell. I have been in that state now for four days: not leaving the house, not talking to anyone, just keeping myself occupied with mass Internet / movie / TV intake and drifting on a sea of inner turbulence while doing little or nothing to steady it, find my anchor, get back on the horse. Powerful thoughts and emotions arise, but am I channelling them in a healthy way? I've been running from myself in a manner all too familiar from decades of mental and emotional fragmentation. I get the high highs and the low lows. Been psychiatrically assessed as borderline bipolar, just shy of a clinical diagnosis.

I need to find a way to self-correct these wild swings. Something deep inside me has yet to stand up and invite the warring inner factions to a round table where all can be heard and accepted. Trying to rule one's self as a dictatorship leads to disaster. It's just one persona after another setting the agenda while the others wait for their chance or plot their coup.

I fear both success and failure. I fear both life and death. Sitting in this black hole of fear and self-inflicted misery seems easier than manning up. Is there a way out? I intuit that the only solution lies at the center. Inward. Where everything meets and relative truths implode into the singularity of consciousness.

The world is in crisis. We who feel that crisis on a personal level are responsible for our part in resolving it. But to attempt to resolve it without first resolving our root conflict is a circular path. The linear notion is that this is something we will do once and everything will be peachy from then on out. No. The quantum understanding says that there is no incremental path to peace, no future time point of resolution to hope, wait, and prepare for. The only peace is the one we already have within, timelessly waiting for our wandering attention to stop seeking it out as if it were beyond us, as if we lacked it, to just settle in and make contact.

This is it. This is all there is. Just the now moment and the eternal choice to accept or reject. To abide in peace or perpetuate war. To let the current of life carry us or seek in some way to control it.

Stop.

Breathe.

We are Breath. Rising, falling. Expanding, contracting. Ever new. Ever present. No agenda. Just in and out. Rhythm. Pulse. Zero point extending in time and space in a dynamic designed for one thing: the exploration of experience. To have our experience rooted in the knowledge of what lies beyond experience, we are called to go ever deeper into peace, into breath, into Being.

Into Life.

Thank you for breathing with me. We are separate in form and experience, but one in the great Breath of Life.

False Personal Crusades: An Ego-Driven Diversion from the Real Work

A little over four years ago, I allowed myself to be sucked into a false agenda of acting in a personal saviorship role to my current, soon-to-be-former wife.

The hook was very appealing to my scheming monkey mind. I could put off assuming personal responsibility for my own affairs, for my own psychological healing and well-being, under the compelling pretence of helping someone else who was in a far worse predicament than I was. My sense of morality, of the virtuousness of helping others, was co-opted through the weakness of an egotistical pride that fed on the idea of being a martyr for a superficially noble, yet ultimately hopeless cause that would supposedly earn me my glorious place on the loftier end of an imagined totem pole of do-gooders. As my wife so perceptively pointed out many times, I was trying to “polish my halo” and “buy my way into heaven” through self-abnegation and suffering. As it turns out, the only thing that that suffering did for me was to teach me the lesson of taking care of myself first before taking on the problems of the world or any other person.

I am now a shell of who I was four years ago, energetically speaking. The cognitive dissonance of being on the disempowering power trip of trying to assume control of another person’s journey to well-being—against her own will—was one of the factors that took its toll on my energy system over the ensuing four years. The crazy dramas and power struggles we’ve had are another. Not to mention the stress of associating mostly with people who had little respect for personal boundaries, who were stuck in self-defeating thought patterns and behaviors, and who acted out their intuitive distrust of my motives in countless sabotaging ways. I isolated myself from those who could truly act as partners and catalysts for positive change in favor of constant firefighting and busywork on the home front.

The end result was inevitable: burnout and disillusionment. The good news is that I’ve now exhausted that excuse for not committing to the real work. I have so much to do. I don’t know how much of it will manifest in blog postings here, but given my proclivity for writing, some portion of it most likely will.

There’s no denying that some real good has resulted from my misguided efforts to do good. Some beautiful moments were enjoyed. Many valuable insights were gained. But whatever good has come of it all has come from behind the veil of separation, in spite of my egotistical motives and tendencies, from the wellspring of life and love that no man can lay claim to for himself alone.

And so it is that I embark on my own journey as an individual. The bitter tears of disillusionment and release have been shed and the last remaining sentimental ties severed. All that remains for me here is to do what I can for a transition of caretaking responsibility that will ensure my wife’s safety and well-being on a basic level in future. Following that, I make my exit as gracefully as I can.

In addition to the warnings, observations, and advice of loved ones, I have had the benefit of many enlightening messages and resources on relationship dynamics that have helped me get to this point. If the topic interests you, or if you suspect you may be trapped in a similar entanglement, look up “victim-perpetrator-rescuer triangle.” We all have to discern, choose, and find our own way, but so much suffering can be avoided by learning about the ways we trip ourselves up and perpetuate destructive patterns in relationship. No one wants to end something they’ve invested their entire life in, based their whole identity on. But when all the signs point to that something being a hindrance rather than a help to your personal well-being and sovereign self-actualization, then it pays to pay attention and be willing to drop the rationalizations that hold you back.

Love you all.

Signing off,

William

Assurances

In search of assurances, we hold out.
For lack of assurances, we waver.
Without assurances, we squander our true wealth in violent pursuit of phantom gain.

What assurance do we have?

That this body was once born and must return to dust.
That we shall never cease to exist.
That creation will forever reflect the mind of its creator.
That we can never know what moves in a mind beyond our own.
That we will only ever know what is given to us to know.
That this moment is what is offered now, if we will but receive it.
That we do not belong to ourselves, but to a whole greater than we can conceive of.

What assurance can I give you? What solace? What comfort?

None but this: that what you are is enough.

Go therefore, and be at peace within yourself.
Act without interest in the outcome.
Give all that you are to the greater part of you.
Your gloomy thoughts, your tortured emotions
are not here to destroy you and threaten your soaring dreams.
They are here to show you the part of you that needs to be let inside
so that you may be free.

Love, william

Wilderness Blues: A Reader's Response

This beleaguered seeker's prayers were answered in the form of a beautiful email message from Robert. Here it is in full, for the enrichment of all who might benefit from the higher wisdom shining through.

Dear William,

I read your eloquent, creative and moving post and felt the imperative to respond.

All I can offer you both are some conceptual tools, to help clarify the mind, which IS the only real impediment to change, discounting the physical body’s own inertia and demanding cry to remain in its comfort zone. Actually, even the latter is really mental conditioning, nothing more!

Our minds are the primary centers of fear of change.

Even Western science, in its least corrupted branches, has finally realized that all appearances of matter as solid (and hard to change) are ultimately illusive.

Standing waves of energy, which we perceive as solid matter, are mostly habits in action. The patterns which appear and to which we cling, are really a delicate balance of very powerful forces held in dynamic tension, maintained by our beliefs and the mercy of the higher Mind.

Nearly instantaneous changes are not only possible, but if our mental habits of identification and attachment to what we think we know were not acting as a counterweight, changes would occur more often and with less trauma preceding them!

Were it not for the resistance of the mind, in its primal terror of losing stable control over the body’s form and its potential to grow out of our control, we could shape shift as easily in the physical as we do in our dreams.

The perception and consequent understanding of what is holding back or distorting growth is the key to unlocking so-called miracles.

It is not that we must have a rapid manifestation to satisfy ourselves that healing is happening, it is the mental state of already being there, in the next phase of being, that we must put on in advance, in undisturbed faith.

I know that you understand all this.

However, I am pointing you back to this conceptual space because the truth is, it is our own, very human mental resistance which frustrates higher powers from bringing us information, healing and relief from suffering, not karma!

For us to learn, we must have the exercise of our sovereign wills, free from interference from our loving “parental” Source. As above, so below applies: good human parents know this principle and obey it, even if occasionally overriding it out of concern and their own lack of faith.

So, our little minds were granted the power to hold back the power of Love, to the extreme of suicide when our faith is exhausted.

This means that it is our minds (and the beliefs it holds true), which are the point of engagement in any and all crises; we must clear the decks to see what needs to change in our mental structure and set of beliefs.

Again, metaphysics 101.

My point is, no matter what level of consciousness we attain, the shadow mind, where all of our unconscious patterns await loving attention, must be constantly courted like a lover and brought into the light of awareness, where ancient patterns and long-held traumas to our souls may be healed.

Instead of the culturally transmitted, mind-limiting perception that the physical world is hard to move and that our mental habits are very hard to change, we must detach from our attachment to the mass mind’s “comfort zone” and realize that all these millennia, the power to transcend the psychic momentum of living stuck in the darkness along with the consciousness of the race has always been waiting, patiently, expectantly, to be called upon!

To be clear: it is one thing to attempt to move the consciousness of the entire race out of bondage, as the Christed beings have done, which requires immense energy and self-mastery to pull off.

It is far less intimidating to manage our own life bubbles, our bodies and our relations with those around us.

We face the same psychic inertia and mental ruts, but on a local scale, which we can manage, if we so choose.

All our challenges are learning opportunities, but the conundrum is: what is it we are to learn specifically this time?

The details are always unique and very intimately personal BUT we can help ourselves by realizing that there are general patterns. Though the detail is important and tailor-made for us, the learning process has general congruencies, which we can learn once and then utilize in any situation.

Identification: something which we thinks is “US” or “OURS” is now holding back our growth. We must prepare to find it and let it go, no matter what the cost to our feelings or self-image.

Attachment: There is some thing, idea or feeling to which we are clinging (or which is clinging to us!) which is dis-empowering us, weighing us down, blocking our perception.

We must detach ourselves from anything to which we bonded, grow bigger than the looming illusion that we need, ultimately, anything other than our inner resources, anything more than our invincible connection to the One.

This cusp we are all experiencing at this time is a birth canal transit, squeezing us into a diamond form, impervious to mental delusions and appearances of limitations on our power.

After all, our only power comes from the only One and it is only mercy and compassion that has us requiring “training wheels” before we ride the bicycle freely, wielding the power we were granted in a responsible, esthetic, and creative manner.

In other words, our physical bodies are capable of handling far more energy and far more change and healing growth than most minds will allow, at any cost.

The problem is not to petition Heaven for a miraculous dramatic influx of energy but simply to see how to get out of our own way, to permit our potential force to express.

Are we ready to experience irrefutable, undeniable, irresistible manifestation of our true power? There is no going back from these kinds of growth spurts, which intimidates the little demon mind hitching a ride with our partition of the Mind.

Are we holding ourselves back through some dimly perceived limiting belief, not karmic at all but merely a sticky idea which we adopted like a stray dog, somewhere along the way?

When we are completely sincere in our desire to move out of our prison cell, out of our mental comfort zone of being limited (and “safe”), out of the mass mind and into the rarified air where self-mastery lives, then can any manifestation, healing of our own bodies, healing of communities, healing of planetary systems, take birth.

Practically, we must rely on our parallel connection with the One, to amplify our intentions and make the kind of clean sweep of our recalcitrant minds and multiple little selves which is required to grow into our next level of self-mastery.

We do the work to diligently enlighten our attitude and then rest serene in the vision of being free, knowing that power beyond our present comprehension performs the manifestation on our behalf.

Not easy but doable, especially from the place of sincere surrender to the Will of the One.

I note how the word sincere connotes to me: “searing the sin”, burning in the lesson of our error of limited thinking until we have learned it, once and for all time!

Understand that all of our challenges are more than personal; every being who liberates themselves from their present challenge and learns that lesson, adds to the momentum of enlightenment for the entire Universe!

You and your partner are serving the One well, by taking on your personal challenges on behalf of all humanity, in addition to the personalized lessons involved.

Getting through this latest effort of will, will undoubtedly take you to the next level of self-mastery and transcend these lessons for good, forever.

We must constantly tune our minds to the enlightenment channel, broadcasting faithfully since Creation began.

We must pierce all of our favorite illusions and grow beyond any appearance of powerlessness.

No matter how the time frame may appear to us, once we have achieved the detachment from and non-identification with our present suffering, the victory is won and we get to watch it play out, at a pace at which we can observe and learn from and from which to draw a continuous child-like wonder at the magnificent beneficence of Life in the One.

Nit-pick all the conceptual lice from our magic mirror minds until we reflect the Light of the One well enough to channel that lightforce through any obstacle, any pain, any suffering.

We KNOW at a deep level that we are children of the One, without limitation, other than what may be required to safeguard our continuing growth toward cosmic being, sustainable eternal life.

All we are required to do is act and see from that place, consistently (i.e. more often than not!), in order to claim our birthright.

Go there or be square, as they say! (grin)

When I see that my frustrations are really a call to be more me than I am being at the moment, to be more, period, I get motivated and excited, like a child looking forward to a trip.

Command the energy of victory won, call forth the enthusiasm of the inner child in anticipation of new freedom and then rest in the certainty of its imminent arrival.

Sure there is work involved but it is the most effective, leveraged work we can do, on ourselves, on the size and shape of our own life bubble, which is corralled and policed by our minds in operation.

We must adopt the boldness of the One in commanding Creation Itself, in order to throw off all clinging, disempowering ideas and memes which stand in our way, on our way home with new gifts of experience.

You are both pregnant with huge possibilities and it is from that perception/conception that you will find the power to sort this out and see through all confounding delusions.

Human life before liberation, is merely the story of the power of self-delusion to destroy happiness, to make a mess of things out of doubt and fear, instead of zooming around the Universe applying the power of Love to all stuck states!

You have my deep appreciation for your willingness to serve the One and the many.

I know that you will soon look back on this cusp of change from a higher perspective and laugh with joy.

Love,

=>><<=robert

Wilderness Blues: Snakebit and Bramblestuck

All is in good hands. I trust that this message will reach whomever it needs to reach.

Prayers have gone out night and day. My own time, energies and abilities don't seem at all adequate to the situation.

My wife, to whose wellbeing I have devoted my life, needs a miracle.

I know the power of the mind. I have experienced at least one miraculous self-healing. I am fully convinced that all manifestations of sickness and health are ultimately creations of the mind on whatever level.

Sometimes health problems are given for the purpose of offering great lessons and calling forth demonstrations of love in action: faith, a positive attitude, and the synergistic support of a network of friends. Such, I believe, is the case with brother Heikki, a soul of superlative beauty and brilliance, whose whole life is one long history of surviving crazy health problems.

In my wife's case, a perfect storm of factors in all areas of life has put her into a state where it seems there is no earthly hope of things getting better. She has truly been through hell in this life, with an unhappy childhood, advanced multiple sclerosis and the loss of her eldest son being just the tip of the iceberg. I won't get into her tale of woe here. Suffice to say she is in a lot of pain on many levels and our overall situation is very trying and constricted. There are many locks here that need opening.

I have been driven to my knees before the Light of Life. I know the power of the All-Pervading Self is unlimited and that that power flows in perfect harmony through the mediation of Christ.

I have been touched by Heaven enough times to know that it is the number one desire of my soul, not only to attain it myself, but to facilitate its manifest arrival in the collective. I cannot achieve this as my separate ego self, not in the lifetime of this or any universe. That is not the way.

William must surrender all personal ambitions, attachments, limitations, and identities, placing all that he is and appears to be in the hands of the One Love. The seemingly impossible situation of the moment has been constructed to clarify this imperative in his awareness beyond a shadow of ambiguity. To help purify his being of all that would hinder him from that surrender.

I do not ask for help out of a sense of special suffering, self-pitying thoughts notwithstanding. We are much better off in so many ways than a whole lot of people in this world are right now. The world is full of terrible suffering, such that nothing in my experience would even come close. I do trust that whatever we need, internally and externally, will be given.

The One Love does not differentiate. No being, no suffering, no miracle is too small or too great. Like the Sun, it shines on great and small alike; like the rain, it waters both the just and the unjust. All that is is equally allowed and redeemed in its sight.

While I still protest the insanity of our situation, I am growing to appreciate its necessity as well. It will pass when it has fulfilled its purpose. It is, as it must be, a blessing, hid as such only by its closeness in time.

Our story has a happy outcome. So does the world's. We must simply do our best and see how it all plays out.

If you feel inspired to do so, please leave a comment with your thoughts here, or send an email to juhowilliam (at) gmail (dot) com. All prayers on our behalf are accepted via Universal Heavenly Courier Service. If you have Otherside connections or abilities that might be of assistance, or know someone who does -- especially pertaining to the clearing of emotional pain and karma -- please let me know. Intuitive readings and advice are more than welcome. I will provide any needed details by request.

Thank you all, you most beautiful and precious, innocent eternal children of God.



May all beings find happiness.
May all beings find peace.

A Valentine's Day message from our brother Heikki

My dear friend, awakened child of Earth Mother and Heavenly Father, the radiant one we know as Heikki Attila, posted this status on facebook yesterday. My heart is overflowing with love for him and gratitude for the gift of life he illuminates so beautifully even in the midst of great suffering!

"My dear friend, please tell me if I disturb you with my messages. But this morning so wonderful meditations I wish to share. If it helps one of my friend I will cry of joy - I like crying in ecstasy.

First I have noticed that I cannot control my ups and downs, so I am on a path to develop a lovely bipolar personality disorder - at least as long I need to have opiates for pain killing. Perhaps a week more.
I copy here a sms I sent to my friends bringing me some healthy food. Next to my my computer I have a plum juice made by Monsanto-Nestle health monsterfood corporation - keep your friends near and your enemies even closer.

SMS:
Thank you my dear friend, thank you that you are! I send a copy to T.K. too.

The day of yesterday was one of heaviest in my life. To feel death inside me in bone marrows which are not for the moment strong enough to produce the quantity of blood needed for the brains to function properly causing constant lack of oxygen.

next to my bed a friend is liquidated with red blood cells and antibiotics many times a day just to postpone final collapse (my interpretation only)

I am so deep in physical pain that I ask my friends not to visit on Valentines Day. I am not strong enough and not willing to see my death in their eyes. My pain has accelerated beyond physical level. My emotions are suffering in the way that maybe soon I will see all my friends leaving behind to carry some sorrow because me and continue enjoying joys of life given daily. If I die I will be free of tearing feelings of this pain and free flying rising up spiraling in uprising feelings. Perhaps soon I have stepped in the uppermost floor or level of spirituaL life: Life Itself! Actually that is exactly the REASON why I descended here - to find my path back home again. It is soon fulfilled. I have learned something great with you and through you. It is Life Itself - You My God - You God - You and Me. I bow down and kiss Mother Earth that your foot has touched Human Being, every single Human Being on this Planet with a body or going home or coming down again. Have a most safe journey and welcome in this eternity.

Thank you that you are! Thank you Titariina, Thank you Juho and thank You and Me too - And now today we will have a party on the ice in our POP-UP (not pin-up) restaurant on the ice called Fish From Below Kitchen Floor. LIFE IS!

If you wish to see this multitalented guy Juho, please watch a film we created in youtube: Tuhannen Tarinan Mies - a Man With Thousand Stories. A good example of pure strong group consciousness.

Heikki, you have brought so much to this plane. My heart will forever sing with the thought of you, no matter if you sojourn with us here or in brighter places. I am so grateful to have you in my life, even in such a small amount. Every moment is a treasure, every meeting is priceless. Thank you that you are, my lovely brother! ♡♡♡

JE SUIS LA VIE

It’s been a rough few days. My dear wife has been suffering from a highly virulent seasonal flu, coughing up sputum and going through rolls of toilet tissue. She’s also been running a high fever. Her condition has been such that I have had to be by her side almost continuously, given that her personal assistant has also been down with the flu. My friend Teemu came over to help out last night and mentioned the following text, seen on a sign outside the local Pentecostal church:

JE SUIS

LA VIE

He said it was like the perfect answer to the media’s recent campaign to divide people into different camps with the viral slogan, “Je suis Charlie.” ‘Viral’ is right: it’s a sick way to think. In the name of ‘solidarity’ with the ‘defenders of free speech’ (no argument with the principle, only with how it is being used), the public are called to identify with a name that psychologically symbolizes the wronged, the killed, the victim of the past. To take a stand, not actually for anything real, but against an imagined threat. We are asked to put on the role of the accuser, to take a moral stance of righteous indignation and condemnation.

I’m no apologist for Mohammedan fundamentalism. Or militant Christian zealotry. Or Jewish supremacist fanaticism. As John Lash elucidates in his update, There Are No Shades of Freedom, these three monotheistic religions have been exploited as vectors for a virus of the mind, a soul parasite that some call Wetiko, others psychopathy or the archontic influence. Typical symptoms include authoritarianism, subjectivity of thought, an atrophied conscience and intuition, and distrust toward the world in general and the free inner nature in particular. But what is it that speaks when we hear this adversarial voice of fear?

We hear the thought that thinks separation is real. This thought cannot conceive of love except as an exclusive, particular, limited thing. A weak, soft thing in a hard world, creating only vulnerability. The idea that if we united ourselves in a freely-flowing web of mutual love, we could overcome any obstacle to our true heart’s desire individually and collectively, seems like madness and impossibility, a nice dream but only delusion after all, to this child of the primal thought of separation; the unconscious, unliving, abortive offspring of Shiva and Shakti; the insatiable ghost of envy and hatred toward all life; a semblance of life without the spirit of life, animated only by the energy of the thought that impels and sustains it.

This thought dwells within me. And if you are seeking the same truth I seek, then it dwells within you as well. For if it did not, we would have no need to seek for what we already have: the perfection of our Divine Being.

It is not required for us to speak of spirituality, to read books or blogs, or to even have a concept of ourselves as being spiritual seekers. All that is needed is a willingness to bring the darkness to light. To come closer to what we really are, to embrace an absolute freedom that does not differentiate between right and wrong, better and worse. We have all possibility within us. Only if we are open to meeting the darkest parts of that field of possibility with the light of our innermost heart to illuminate the way, only then can we make friends with our feelings of fear and sensations of pain. Then they are our guides, showing us the next thing to accept and forgive, so that it passes through us without resistance, released out of our field of vibration by the resolving power of Love.

“Je suis la vie.” An expansive, heart-opening statement, open to all possibility. Je suis, I am. Take away but the letter i and you get Jesus, the name of a man. Take the living ‘I’ out of being and you get only a specific form among forms. This is the trick that mind plays on itself.

We are here, as the Adam of myth, as namers of God. We are given the power to express divinity. When we misuse that power by believing and expressing falsehood, we make that falsehood our god and become like our false god, creating a world reflecting that false god’s nature back to us. When we replace our falsely self-identifying thoughts and beliefs with self-illuminating truth, with a way of being that is predicated on neither belief nor non-belief, knowing nor unknowing, we are released from the tyranny of the divided and divisive mind of duality into a pure spontaneous flow of being that springs from our Home Source in the living unity of Light. Then even our human form naturally attains ever more faithful congruence with the nature of the true God, becoming less and less limited in all the qualities and attributes of that divinity.

Love evolves. Fear devolves. This is well explained in the article titled Moral Evolution by Norman D. Livergood. We have nothing to fear from fear when we surrender it and ourselves to the service of the purposes of Love. Then it is only a player in the dynamic of eternal growth – not a hungry, consumptive, cancerous type of growth, but an organic, balanced, intelligently ordered growth producing only more and more expressions of limitless divinity.

We need not deny God by perceiving lies to be true, or by making compromises with lies, or even by attacking lies – giving legitimacy to the primal lie. We need only abide in truth, for the God that cannot be denied lives within us. When we see things as they are while seeing what they appear to be, we see God as God is while seeing what God appears to be: unity in diversity, the self-evident truth cloaked in awful, awesome mystery.

It is a truly divine gift to really, viscerally perceive the innocence of the eternal Christ nature of all that we encounter in life. Life is our mirror. Let us honor it as that, and embrace the opportunities it presents us with in every moment to know ourselves more deeply through loving relationship with every form, sensation, and thought that comes into our awareness. This is the way, the truth, and the life. Some call it dharma, some call it the Tao. It is the working of the One sacred heart.

In Om shanti Om, I leave you now. Have faith. The journey is not what it may seem. We are going Home, helping each other on the way whether we know it or not.

Much love,

William