Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Kicking against the Holy Womb

Perhaps the true value in an experience like the one I last described, however beautiful it may seem on the surface, is in the response it provokes deep within what embryonic spark of a soul still cries out in me: in this case, an equal and opposite reaction.

The frustration of the yet-unindividuated self in potential, yearning for relevance as a being in its own right. The resentment toward still being oedipally attached to the cosmic Mother. Chafing at the safe, yet suffocating limits of her Womb. The ignition of the sacred flame of anger at the perversions of divine law I perceive in the world of form. The recognition of my personal duty to play my part in piercing the barrier that holds humanity back from its true potential. The affirmation of the decision to put away childish things and take up the great alchemical Work.

That all is lila, divine play, does not negate the necessity of exercising our own free will as sovereign beings. To neglect that necessity is to submit to the larger forces that conspire in this time to keep us in the manipulated time loop of the Ouroboros, the repeating cycle of energy harvest that feeds the archontic hive and the reverse Kabbalah hierarchy. I don’t put the blame on any of them. They do what they do because they can. Some are acting according to their inherent nature while others are ensnared and deluded. It’s up to us to learn to know ourselves and our enemy so we can counter their moves against us and escape the prison they have set up for us.

In terms of soul evolution, our enemy is really our friend. He exploits our weaknesses and blind spots, forcing us to gain knowledge and strength in order to hold our own and achieve victory. The adversarial force is what spurs us on to the struggles by which we grow. We learn even from our defeats, and there are many defeats in store for the neophyte. The only true defeat is not to fight at all. What value is there in capitulating to one who only intends to eat or enslave us?

The world is filled with domesticated humans. Even many who show signs of dawning awareness remain indifferent or still largely enmeshed within the layers of programming, spending their energies and resources in ways that continue to reinforce the matrix.

Political movements, by and large, are compromised and controlled. Voting achieves nothing of consequence but acts as another form of consent to be governed. Paying one’s taxes amounts to paying into the corporate government mafia protection racket. Buying stock in companies that rape the Earth, squeeze the life out of their workers, and sell their shit for as much as the market will bear makes one a co-owner of their karma. Most news and entertainment is spiritually deadening trash full of loosh triggers, mind-control signals, and social engineering, best consumed discerningly and in moderation if at all. Religion plays on our existential dread, our ignorance of the wider reality, and our reluctance to assume full individual responsibility for our lives to keep us corralled in designated, compartmentalized spiritual enclosures as food for entities on the lower astral planes. Contrived wars and controversies sap our strength and splinter us further off from any sense of unity. Our debt-based fiat currencies are black magick, numbers conjured out of nothing, backed only by the collateral of our own bodies and souls and those of future generations. The pressure to work an unfulfilling job, buy unnecessary things, parrot the approved opinions, and go along with the herd on any number of fronts is pervasive and insidious.

The more one defies these conventions, the more the whole infernal system takes a loss and the more one also potentially becomes a target of its retribution. The process of disentanglement is best handled strategically and intuitively as an integral part of one’s total process of coming into one’s true self.

It is an inconvenient truth that, while we are indeed children of the true, loving creative power and intelligence behind all manifestation and are meant to inherit every divine attribute, the pathway to actualizing that inheritance as full-fledged, consciously co-creative beings goes through terrain that is often dark and difficult, painful and perilous. All the support and protection we need are ours as long as we heed the universal laws. On the other hand, there is a definite element of aloneness that we must face and that no amount of wishing will dispel. I alone am the deciding factor at the center of my experience of reality and the same goes for each of us.

Having grown up inside a disempowering, authoritarian, conservative Christian sect with a tendency to sweep human ugliness and personal responsibility for one’s failings under the rug of a magic formula of absolution, I know spiritual bypassing when I see it and I want no part of it. While I firmly stand behind the awesome healing power of forgiveness, I don’t believe for a second that we can heal those possessed by the predator mind-virus by forgiving them and excusing their evil actions as being spiritually necessary and ultimately beneficial. That kind of deeply disingenuous hand-waving makes me physically ill. It is Stockholm syndrome and only encourages more of the same. To negotiate and compromise with evil is to enter into a karmic pact of complicity with it. We can only stop evil by standing firm against it wherever we encounter it. That is where a sacred firewall of anger and decisive counteraction is the appropriate response. Keep your fluffy platitudes of unconditional forgiveness out of the arena of real-world response; that sacred salve is for you in your meditations to free you of debilitating emotional attachments to the past. Remember Jesus and the moneychangers in the temple. Have the courage of your convictions and don’t be afraid to call out and actively oppose wrongdoing. Failure to do so is cowardice, unworthy of the spiritual warrior.

So no matter how pleasing to my senses and spiritual sensibilities any visionary experience I have may be, I will not be lured into making bliss my only compass. Pain is an equal compass on this path we must walk. We hold so much of it coiled within our cellular memories; only by allowing ourselves to fully feel it can we hope to unravel it and free that space for clearer, lighter energies that feed our soul’s expansion.

I want to acknowledge a debt of thanks to Randy Maugans and Emily Moyer of Off Planet Radio and Sethikus Boza of Black Earth Productionz for their recent conversation. That interview stoked my fire of discontent, stirred up my warrior instinct, and heightened my thirst for self-improvement. It showed the very real stakes of the spiritual war we are in; it shone a ray of hope; it called me to step beyond my comfort zone and commit to becoming more than I am, to join in the fight as a sovereign being standing up for the things I hold most precious.

As I slept in the night after I had listened to that interview, I had a long dream whose each sequential segment was a clearly symbolic scene depicting a phase of my self-chosen initiation into the path of self-actualization. It was a rewarding and affirming experience clearly brought on by the place I had come to in mind and will.

It is my sincere hope that all who feel the call to challenge the conditions foisted upon us, the heirs of the divine, and claim their birthright will step up boldly in these times and spare no effort to attain a glorious destiny together. Who will believe in you, if not you?


In closing, it is my joy to share with you this dance presentation by the inimitable Erin Parsley, set to the music of Les Visible, to whom credit is due for the title of this post, which I borrowed from the lyrics of this beautiful song.

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