Friday, January 2, 2015

Too Good to Be True (updated)

This is kind of what I've been getting at in a roundabout way that seems to say, "Believe me, this is the big truth, this is what'll set you free," and yet perhaps failing to emphasize the deeper truth beyond all truth: truth in action. That's the deal. Wherever you're at, whatever your concepts of truth and what you believe is real, just listen to what the reality around you and within you is telling you it wants. What feels nice, what doesn't feel nice. Notice. Respond. Learn. Give. Make amends. Say no. Say yes. Whatever you are called to be and do. You will feel it. You will know when you just relax and stop trying to desperately control your experience and instead flow with it, take it in and give yourself over to it. Anyway, too many words. Sounding like a preacher, do this, don't do that, feels whiny and dorky, so I'm going to stop. OK, bye!

One day later:

Wooooow. That was a genius way to shut myself down with judgment. (quiet laughter) Well, I was done for the moment, in any case. I had only watched about 25 minutes of the video at that point. Later last night, I finished watching it thanks to a far-too-usual attack of insomnia. Almost immediately after, my wife awoke, and, finding me gone from her side, got up to give me an earful. She really hates my staying up at night. I tell her there's not often a whole lot I can do about it, but you know how it is. We've done a lot of talking past each other on this and other recurring topics that never seem to get resolved. But now... well, we did the usual thing, back and forth, getting nowhere, me trying to convince her of my way of seeing things and her not budging a metric inch. Even my new-found gentleness and compassion and non-judgment were to no avail. I was still talking past her, still holding on to my truth and using it as a weapon, no matter how oh-so-spiritually I acted and spoke. The set-up was the same: conflict. Two people on opposite sides of a fence, one saying, “Come over on this side, it’s so much more comfy and sensible over here,” and the other saying, “Like hell I will!”
To make a long story short, I ended up seeing some surprising things about myself, my behavior and motivations, more clearly than I had dared before. It was humbling, and that humility was refreshing and relieving. Like an old inflammation dying down. For the first time, on a deeper and more subtle level, I was able to approach the love of my life from a position of equality and respect.

It was a truly synchronistic event, as I saw, one after the other, point for point, opportunities to apply the wisdom teachings Matt Kahn had just shared. As I did so, breakthroughs happened. Conflict gave way to mutual respect and peace. It no longer felt as important to try to convince her of anything – no matter how gently – as it did to simply be there for her and support her right where she was. To go to her level and drop the inwardly aloof superiority that had kept us on opposite sides of that communication barrier.

Words are not important. What’s important is where the words come from.

After this extended Matt Kahn advertisement (just watch the video), I’m going to post a text that I drafted by hand this morning as a kind of follow-up. So that’s up next. See you there.

1 comment:

  1. Funny how we stumble into the most stimulating and lovely places. I am snagging some of the beauty pics from your Leo post and enjoying your sharing. Thanks!